I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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