so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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