I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
