Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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