so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
