omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
