I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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