so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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