my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
