She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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