Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
