the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
