How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
