how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
