What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
