why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
