afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
