if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need help removing her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
