At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
