U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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