I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
