i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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