Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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