this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
