Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I just put wine in my tea
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
