There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
