I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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