been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Your cock deserves a montage
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
