People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
