Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
