First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
