There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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