I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
