I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
