it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
