I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
