I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
