Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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