You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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