We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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