You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love black thongs
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
