Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
