I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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