When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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