Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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