Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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