She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
