i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
