Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
