also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
