is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
