Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just had sex on a roof
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
