It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have aggressive nipples.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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